Divorce is a rough process, it turns lives upside down and pulls families apart. No couple enters marriage expecting it to fail. It can be overwhelming when considering divorce and facing the legal process can feel devastating, but there are steps you can take to help make the process easier.
It’s easy to become very bitter during a divorce. Many people feel extreme emotions of hurt, anger, despair, and the desire for revenge. Such a response is normal, and over time the intensity of these feelings will subside. It is more constructive to try not to think of the breakup as a battle. Divorce mediation is often a good alternative to courtroom proceedings. Trying to work things out yourself can be frustrating and self-defeating as the problems that contributed to your divorce are likely to re-emerge during divorce negotiations. Sitting down and speaking with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse may be the last thing you want to do, but cooperation and communication make divorce healthier for everyone involved.
This sounds simple, yet most people wander through their divorce determined to get what’s fair without thoughtful evaluation of what they want, what they don’t want and what they need. The changes brought on by separation and divorce can be overwhelming and hard to predict in the heat of the emotions. Now more than ever, it’s important to take care of yourself. Tap into your support network, turning to family and friends for assistance and comfort, and seek out a divorce mediator to help you step back from the process…..this will be in your best interest in the long run.
Always focus on what is best for the kids instead of how you can get revenge on your ex. Have the kids’ best interests in mind. Divorce mediation can help you agree where your children will live, and how often they will see the other parent. Sometimes a shared care arrangement can be put in place after a structured mediated dialogue between both parents. The more you are able to dialogue around all the concerns, the more you can agree on, and the better off you, your ex-spouse and the children will be. Also, bear in mind that there needs to be flexibility. What works for your children when they are young may not work as they get older. The idea is to let a trained mediator give you the best shot to decide what works for you as parents, and what’s in your children’s best interests.
These can be difficult, but if you think about it, every one of these things will benefit you in the long run.